We’ve been in his life since that very first day, Saturday 24 September 1994. Adam Robert Tuffrey, the first born of our dear friends, Duncan and Trudy. We’d been there at his parents wedding a few years earlier. Our friendship with Duncan and Trudy blossomed through the music ministry at Lansdowne Church in Bournemouth. We had gathered together a small group of highly gifted young people to use their musical skills in worship and evangelism. It wasn’t long before that group, later called “For All To See” began regular appearances in the Lower Pleasure Gardens and the Pier Approach. In the summer of 1992, almost immediately after Duncan and Trudy’s marriage, we took the group to Poland where we conducted a concert tour, using interpreters to translate the song words. While at a lakeside youth retreat, and as a newly married couple, Duncan and Trudy were treated to the deluxe accommodation which comprised a ramshackle old caravan with a leaky roof. We’ve treasured our friendship through the years, so it was a huge privilege when they asked us to be “prayer-parents” to their two children, Adam and Chloe. In our Christian tradition, we don’t have godparents, so we settled upon the name of “prayer-parents” to capture our role, which was essentially to pray and care for them, and be there for them as they grew up.

So it was that when Adam, as a very young boy, was rushed into Southampton General hospital with meningitis, we didn’t hesitate to get into our car and travel through the night from Stafford where we were at that time living. Adam was terribly ill, and at one stage we really didn’t know whether he was going to make it. But God had, and still has, a purpose for Adam’s life.

It is a measure of this remarkable young man, that as soon as he was old enough, he determined to use his own considerable musical skills to raise money for the UK charity, Meningitis Now. We attended as many of his wonderful concerts as we could. Nigel even performed at one concert, though his piano skills were completely dwarfed by Adam’s exceptional keyboard ability.

It is no surprise that Adam’s fundraising determination came to the attention of a wider audience. We were immensely proud of him on the day he was awarded the British Empire Medal. Well done, Adam Tuffrey BEM!

He may be embarrassed to recall that we were having a holiday in his parents’ home while they were away, when Adam smuggled in an attractive young woman by the name of Jamie-Lee. We weren’t introduced, of course! Adam and Jamie-Lee were sequestered away in the Tuffrey music room, where the two of them were “practicing”. A few weeks later, we heard on the grapevine that Adam had surprised Jamie-Lee with a special picnic and, with that, his love life entered a new chapter.

The path of true love never runs smooth, and there were many bumps in the road. Another dramatic rush to the hospital, Bournemouth this time, when Adam was taken ill and the family feared it was linked to his childhood meningitis. It was a privilege for Nigel to pray with Duncan and Jamie-Lee, as the two of them sat frantic with worry in a side room at A&E.

It is no surprise that the relationship was on and off and then on again many times over the following couple of years. But then, after much prayer and anticipation, we learnt that the two of them were to be married, and we were thrilled.

Of course, Covid-19 played havoc with the wedding planning. Like many couples across the country, Adam and Jamie-Lee’s plans were redrawn again and again. Then, while our beloved Prime Minister was oscillating over which lockdown measures to revise and by how much, the two of them spotted an opportunity to get married with 30 guests. It was a vast reduction on the original guest list, as you might imagine, but better than just 15, which for some unfortunate couples was as good as it could get.

We were unbelievaby privileged to be counted among the 30. When we think about those who were not there, so that we could be, we are humbled.

For Nigel, there was the honour of leading the congregation in prayer, one very public moment in a lifetime commitment to pray for a young man whom we have come to love as if he were our own.

We had been shielding from the very beginning of the lockdown, because of Nigel’s extreme clinical vulnerability. Venturing out to attend a wedding was a big deal for us, but we couldn’t not be there, and we wouldn’t have missed it for the world. There were tears. Of course there were tears. But they were tears of pure joy.

Thus came to pass one of the proudest days of our life. Seeing Adam commit himself to a beautiful young woman, and to witness publicly the huge affection Jamie-Lee’s son, Oliver, has for Adam as his surrogate father.

“Tuffers” is without question the most important and influential male figure in that young lad’s life and Oliver is fortunate to have him.

Oliver had a proud moment of his own when he read a most moving poem to his mum on her wedding day.

We haven’t been blessed with children of our own. We came close on just one occasion, but it was not to be. Instead, God, in his great wisdom and love has chosen to bless us with other people’s children over the years.

There are a handful who have made their way into our hearts in a particularly special way. You will read about some of them here. But Adam, being the gifted pianist that he is, truly is one of a kind.